Friday, June 8, 2012

Parting Words


To the American women in Vicenza, present and future (eh, the ones who lived here in the past can read it too if they want):
I am getting ready to leave this country after seven wonderful years. Like many of you, it‘s our first duty station. I was new to the Army, new to Europe, and we got pregnant right away. I was very lucky to have my mom come when my son was born, but she wasn’t with me in the room--she stayed at our house with our daughter. 
This can be a scary place. You have to learn two new languages: Italian and Army (which is more difficult because it’s all acronyms). Nothing makes sense. Everything takes FOREVER. And then your husband has to leave all the time. But I would like to offer you some words of encouragement.
Appreciate the beauty that is Italy. Venice, vineyards, mountains that you can see if you’re lucky enough to catch them on a good day, Venice, the beach, beautiful towns that make you rethink your definition of “old,” and, have I mentioned Venice? Travel as often as you can. I know it’s difficult, especially with kids. (Ditch the kids with friends if you can and go away with your husband for the weekend. I know. I’m a horrible mother. Hold the tomatoes.) I know it can be expensive. I know it can be scary at first. But YOU’RE IN ITALY!!! Get out and explore! 
Eat the food here. You think you know pizza, but what you have had before is only an imitation of the real thing that is pizza. And cheese? They make whole meals of just cheese. I have said many times that I’m afraid I’ll go to America and die from lack of cheese. Well, fromaggio. Eat lasagna bolognese in Bologna (because it’s funny). We discovered gnocchi here. It almost makes me want to learn to cook. (And I will probably never go to Olive Garden again. Ever.)
Remember: Italy is not like America. In any way, shape, form, or food. Forget the word “deadline.” It doesn’t translate. Or if it does, it sounds something like “red tape.” Nothing is simple in this country (well, I have found an easy way to get to Venice) and very little happens quickly (“easy way” to Venice involves a slow train). This can be a real headache. Or you can just get a Kindle/e-reader that you always have on you and prepare for the directors-cut extended version of the Army’s “hurry up and wait” scenario. Whatever needs to happen will happen. Allora. Domani. (Eventually.)
Has every day of these seven years been wonderful? Of course not. We live here, which means I have to do laundry and clean my house. Blech. My husband almost died five years ago. Those were not good days.  I have missed many events with my family back in Texas--weddings, births, even funerals. (I miss you so much, Mom, and I’m excited that we’re moving to the same continent as you!) There are places we didn’t get to travel, because even with seven years, you run out time. We face many restrictions here, with so few jobs, so few ways to make money even if you learn a great new skill like crochet or cake decorating. (You could look at your time here as an internship--think of all the people you will impress when you say you went to cake decorating school in Italy!)
Those annoying things (wait...the power’s out again...ok, it’s back on now) have not been, cannot be the focus of your stay. Find something you love about this country. (Can you guess mine? It’s Venice, in case you missed it. And cheese. And moscato. And gnocchi. And...) Make friends. Go to chapel--you will find a home there (many services on Sunday, Protestant Women of the Chapel on Tuesday, and MCCW for Catholic women on Thursday). Find a “favorite thing” that you love about Italy. People save their whole lives to come here for three weeks, and you have three whole years. Enjoy something! Love something! Go to Venice! 
I hope that the time you have left here, the weeks, months, years, are blessed and enjoyable. If you just got here, or if you’re not here yet, I hope I didn’t scare you. I will miss Italy every day for the rest of my life. I was talking to a friend recently and said “we don’t have that where I’m from;” the “where I’m from” was Italy. This has become my home. May you grow to love it as I have. May God bless you all.
Always,
Laura

5 comments:

  1. Wonderful comments. Thank you for your insight!

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  2. Laura,I just found you on here.. I loved reading this, I already miss your voice and how happy you always sound even your tears make me smile(sick right?)you will always be a mother to me! you definitely mean the world to me and my family. I will always find a way to visit you somehow someway! we love you and miss you very much! I will still call you for advice and Aaron's booboos! :) be safe out there and don't forget us!

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  3. Thanks for your post! Moving there this month with two kids, your blog is awesome!

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  4. Thank you I enjoyed this very much and will take it to heart. we move this month :)

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  5. Laura,
    Thank you for your thoughts. Can you email me? I need some help with our upcoming PCS to Italy from the states :)

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